I haven't done any 'notalwaysright' lately. I thought I found a theme of super angry customers with two posts. I gave up looking for a third and ended with an Einstein moment instead.
E Pluribus Dumbum
Retail | Pennsylvania, USA | Language & Words
(We have a regular customer who always brings in his latest metal detector
find for me to see, knowing that I’m a fan of antiques and history.)
Customer: “See this ring my metal detector found this morning?”
Me: *looks at the ring* “It looks like an old military officer’s ring. See the rank insignia on one side, the army seal on the other, and ‘E pluribus unum’ around where there used to be a gem/stone?”
Customer: “‘In God we trust.’”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “‘E pluribus unum’ means ‘In God we trust.’”
Me: “Actually, it is Latin for ‘Out of many, one.’ It’s the nation’s motto, meaning we are many states and people, but one country.”
Customer: *suddenly angry* “NO! It means ‘In God we trust’, like on money! WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?!” *storms out*
Customer: “See this ring my metal detector found this morning?”
Me: *looks at the ring* “It looks like an old military officer’s ring. See the rank insignia on one side, the army seal on the other, and ‘E pluribus unum’ around where there used to be a gem/stone?”
Customer: “‘In God we trust.’”
Me: “What?”
Customer: “‘E pluribus unum’ means ‘In God we trust.’”
Me: “Actually, it is Latin for ‘Out of many, one.’ It’s the nation’s motto, meaning we are many states and people, but one country.”
Customer: *suddenly angry* “NO! It means ‘In God we trust’, like on money! WHY DO YOU HATE AMERICA?!” *storms out*
You’re Just Shorting Yourself
(On this day, we are selling cups of tall coffee for a quarter to
celebrate our 25th anniversary in Canada.)
Customer #1: “One short dark coffee.”
Me: “Oh, today is your lucky day! A tall coffee is a quarter, so let me get you a bigger cup of coffee for less money!”
Customer #1: “I want a short.”
Me: “Well, a short is 8 oz at $1.74 after tax, but a tall is 12 oz at $0.28 after tax—today only.”
Customer #1: “Don’t cheat me! I don’t want more coffee!”
Me: “But it costs less…maybe I could charge you for a tall and just fill it half way?”
Customer #1: “Stop your trickery and give me what I want. You are trying to rip me off!”
Me: “Okay. One short coffee…that’s $1.74.”
Customer #1: “Thank you. Was that so freaking hard?!”
(The customer walks away, and the next customer approaches.)
Customer #2: “So, let me get this straight: I can get like four coffees for the price of a short?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer #2: “Oh, that’s a great deal! I’ll get four!”
(Hearing this, Customer #1 turns back to the counter, enraged.)
Customer #1: “You’re giving him FOUR?! You’re playing favorites, you b****!”
Me: *shocked*
Customer #2: “How much do you hate your job right now?”
Customer #1: “One short dark coffee.”
Me: “Oh, today is your lucky day! A tall coffee is a quarter, so let me get you a bigger cup of coffee for less money!”
Customer #1: “I want a short.”
Me: “Well, a short is 8 oz at $1.74 after tax, but a tall is 12 oz at $0.28 after tax—today only.”
Customer #1: “Don’t cheat me! I don’t want more coffee!”
Me: “But it costs less…maybe I could charge you for a tall and just fill it half way?”
Customer #1: “Stop your trickery and give me what I want. You are trying to rip me off!”
Me: “Okay. One short coffee…that’s $1.74.”
Customer #1: “Thank you. Was that so freaking hard?!”
(The customer walks away, and the next customer approaches.)
Customer #2: “So, let me get this straight: I can get like four coffees for the price of a short?”
Me: “Yes.”
Customer #2: “Oh, that’s a great deal! I’ll get four!”
(Hearing this, Customer #1 turns back to the counter, enraged.)
Customer #1: “You’re giving him FOUR?! You’re playing favorites, you b****!”
Me: *shocked*
Customer #2: “How much do you hate your job right now?”
D As In Duh, Part 2
University | Pennsylvania, USA | Language & Words
Me: “You’ll also want to check out the Free Application for Federal
Student Aid. You can apply for that online if you have internet
connection.”
Caller: “I do. What’s the URL?”
Me: “All right. It’s www dot ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ ‘A’…”
Caller: “Sorry, how do you spell that?”
Me: *confused* “…How do you spell what?”
Caller: “Effasinfrank.”
Caller: “I do. What’s the URL?”
Me: “All right. It’s www dot ‘F’ as in ‘Frank,’ ‘A’…”
Caller: “Sorry, how do you spell that?”
Me: *confused* “…How do you spell what?”
Caller: “Effasinfrank.”
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7 comments:
D As in Duh! hahahaha.... But I think I've had moments similar to that...sometimes when people break things down too far, you don't think of it in the right way.
Duh is right!!! Or D'oh.
That's not even Pig Latin!
These people then call me to arrange to have their remodel done. I know them all too well. :-)
But for some reason when not directed at me I find them funny.
If there weren't stupid people out there, we wouldn't have anyone to make fun of.
Jay
The happiest retail clerk I've ever encountered is the hearing-impaired guy at one of our local Office Max stores. He runs the copy machines, and if he makes a mistake due to misunderstanding a verbal order, he just keeps re-running stuff til by sign language, he and I work things out.
There's stupidity, and there's ignorance.
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