2672 - Jokes

What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
Rhesus pieces?
A baboom!


Two priests are out driving one day when they get pulled over by a police officer.
The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we're looking for a couple of child molesters"
The two priests look at each other for a few moments and have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says;
"Alright officer, we'll do it"


At the zoo people were watching an alligator show. The animal trainer makes the alligator open his mouth, pulls his dick out , puts it in the animals mouth and smacks it on the head and the alligator doesn't budge.
After packing away his dick, he says: "I'll give $500 to anyone who dares to try this."
The audience is silent but after a while a tiny old lady stands up and mutters:
"Okay, I'll do it.... But only if you don't hit me on the head that hard."


A priest and a rabbi are out driving, when they pass by a playground where a little boy is sitting on the swings. The priest says, "hey, let's go screw that kid." The rabbi says, "sure, out of what?"


A protestant priest has to fill in for the catholic one.
First confession a beautiful young woman is telling him about having anal sex out of marriage. The priest gets flustered and beet red, has no idea what penance to give.
So he steps out of the confession booth, signals to a choir boy to come over and asks awkwardly in a low voice: "Boy, what does the priest normally give for anal sex?" "One Snickers and two if we blow him afterwards."


A guy walk into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist: - 'I need a condom please, tonight I will do some crazy things with my girlfriend.'
The pharmacist smiles and give him a condom. When the guy was leaving the pharmacy he turn back and says: - 'Give me another one, the girls mom is hot and maybe I can have some luck.'
At night the guy meets his girlfriend and she says that they are going to have dinner with her parents before they go to his house.
At the dinner the guy wasn't saying anything, and his girlfriend says: - 'I didn't know that you were so shy.'
And the guy says: - 'And I didn't know that your father worked at the pharmacy.'