"Excessive yawning" is a TSA warning behavior.
"Appears to be in disguise" will earn you three points.
Benjamin Franklin would have been subjected to additional search because the TSA lists almanacs as a suspicious item.
Arriving late or close to departure time and not knowing where to find your gate will earn you four points. Which seems fairly ridiculous considering no one who is late for their flight is composed or completely oriented.
"Widely open staring eyes" are a potential mark of a terrorist.
"Exaggerated or repetitive grooming gestures" are considered possible terrorist signals.
Nothing shouts your guilt like "excessive throat clearing."
Beware of men with pale, shaved faces (as in, you recently shaved off your terrorist beard).
For those of us who go from warm locales to cold ones, make sure you come to the airport in your down jacket. "Wearing improper attire for location" is a warning sign for TSA.
It might not be the worst thing to remove people who make "excessive complaints about the screening process" from the TSA line. At least it will momentarily separate you from your whiny aunt.
"Gazing down" could land you in hot water, so gaze forward into the middle distance at all times. But not with wide, staring eyes. That'll get you in trouble.
"Whistling as the individual approaches the screening process."
OK have you got those memorized? Now try not to yawn while waiting in the boring TSA line. Try real hard now. Try reeeaaaally hard. Noooo yawning. Are you yawning now? Not good!
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8 comments:
Who ever thought of those was just blowing smoke.
eVil says, "just blowing smoke" or perhaps they were smoking
HEY you two! This is straight from the Internet of Truth!
Is yawning still a sign if you're about to board a red eye flight?
Is yawning still a sign if you're about to board a red eye flight?
I'm sure we really have no idea what is going through the minds of those TSA agents as they watch people coming through the line.
Behavioral Observation Training gives lots of tips like these. Few seem to make much sense, but can give clues to one's intent. Terrorists would rarely announce their evil (not eViL!) plans as they go through security.
Have sympathy for the TSA; they have a difficult and boring job.
~allenwoodhaven
...and all this effort doesn't seem to help at all.
When I went to Europe, I was sick of taking my shoes off. It was crazy, and I didn't even wear my "frisk me" t-shirt.
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