4580 - Long jokes Sunday

A man walks into a bank and says to the teller, “I want to open a fucking checking account.”

The astonished woman replies, “I beg your pardon, but we don’t tolerate language like that in this bank.”

The teller then leaves the window and walks over to her manager to explain the situation.

The manager agrees that the teller shouldn’t have to put up with that kind of language.

They both return to the window and the manager asks the man, “Sir, what seems to be the problem here?”

“There is no fucking problem,” the man says. “I just won $200 million in the damn lottery and I want to put my fucking money in this damn bank.”

“Oh, I see.” says the manager. “And is this bitch giving you a hard time, Sir?”





An elderly couple were watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long.

When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24 inches.

Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, his wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African string-and-weight procedure?"

The husband agreed and they tied a string and a weight to his penis.

A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little tribal experiment coming along?"

"Well, it looks like we're about halfway there," he replied.

"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"

"No, it's turned black."