Sunday, April 11, 2021

5114 - Long joke Sunday


Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. 

He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear, and shot it. 

Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. 

The black bear said, 'That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have sex.' 

After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative. 

So the black bear had his way with Frank. 

Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaska where he found the black bear and shot it dead. 

Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. 

The grizzly said, 'That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got two choices: Either I maul you to death or we have 'rough sex.' 

Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly had his way with Frank. 

Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully recovered. 

Now Frank was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. 

He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. 

He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. 

The polar bear looked at him and said, 'Admit it Frank, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?'


15 comments:

Elephant's Child said...

The polar bear has a point. And I wonder which of his 'points' that Frank opts to have used on him.

Mike said...

Sue - I'm glad the joke wasn't that specific.

Bilbo said...

I think he'd barely survive another go.

Ol' Simmons said...

Actually, the polar bear tapped him on the shoulder while he was sitting on his broken down snowmobile and said "Frank, it looks like you've blown a seal." Frank turned and exclaimed, "No I didn't, I was just eating an ice cream cone.."

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Hahahahahahahaha!

RO said...

Once again this Sunday morning, as I start to prepare the meal for supper, I'm definitely laughing out loud! Wherever you find these they bring about super smiles! Hugs, RO

Mike said...

Bill - His next encounter might be with sasquatch.

Ol' S - I just checked my blog. I've never used the 'blown a seal' joke. I don't know why. Yours is a new version of it I haven't seen before.

Deb - Laughing a that poor man's pain. Shame. :)

RO - Air hugs back.

Cloudia said...

New twist!

Mike said...

Cloudia - I hope there's no twisting for Frank's sake.

Kathy G said...

EWWWWWW!

Mike said...

Kathy - Exactly. You would have thought he learned his lesson the first time. :)

Ole Phat Stu said...

The things you do when you're bare!

Mike said...

Stu - Frank can bearly bear the bare bear.

Lady M said...

That's the joke Prince Charles and Camilla tell in The Crown!

Mike said...

Lady M - I didn't know that. Especially since I don't watch the crown. :)
But this is an old joke that I may have posted years ago. And it was probably old then. But I feel it's my duty to recycle old jokes for people that might not have heard them. :)