Ami said this was her Grandpa Jim's favorite joke.
Grandpa: How do you catch a polar bear?
Ami: I always answered, "I don't know."
G: Well, it's a little-known fact that polar bears LOVE canned peas.
A: Oh really?
G: Yes, really. So you have to get some peas.
Ami: I always answered, "I don't know."
G: Well, it's a little-known fact that polar bears LOVE canned peas.
A: Oh really?
G: Yes, really. So you have to get some peas.
Then, you go up North.
That's where polar bears live.
A: He always said that last in a wry tone and winked at me.
G: You have to go out on the ice. You'll need a big ice pick. Cut a large hole in the ice. Big enough for a bear.
A: He always said that last in a wry tone and winked at me.
G: You have to go out on the ice. You'll need a big ice pick. Cut a large hole in the ice. Big enough for a bear.
Then, open the peas. Sprinkle them carefully all around the hole.
Be patient.
Watch.
Eventually, the polar bear will come up to take a pea.
When he does, you kick him in the icehole.
Be patient.
Watch.
Eventually, the polar bear will come up to take a pea.
When he does, you kick him in the icehole.
11 comments:
Don't listen to your Grandpa Ami. He is not a nice man and he does not have your interests at heart. Perhaps you should have got him better birthday presents?
Sue - She can't listen to him anymore. The last time he tried this he missed with his kick. He's not around anymore.
There was a time, many years ago, when I was required for several weeks to use a real, old-fashioned outhouse. Jokes about frozen pees are NOT funny.
Bill - Been there done that.
I always thought you kicked him in the pee hole.
Sounds legit.
Simmons - I think this joke has been around a while. ... Unless it's a TRUE story!
Deb - We're going to assign you to go to the arctic to test this theory. While there's still ice to test it on.
Deb - If there is no ice where you are running your test, put the peas on a floaty. Then when the bear goes for the peas, paddle up and kayak him in the ass.
Leave no tern un- stoned while you were up there
I miss my grandpa.
He was a good guy, full of interesting stories and love for his family.
He was also a big smartass. Apparently that is hereditary, as I've recently learned there are people who believe that *I* am a smartass, too!
Cloudia - Poor little birdies.
Ami - You need to be a smartass as a defence mechanism these days.
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