6097 - Long joke Sunday

I agreed to accompany a friend of mine to a party, and I was prepared for an interesting time since I knew nobody there except my friend. 

As soon as we arrived, my friend vanished into the crowd. There were hundreds of people there, all mingling. I found a quiet corner and just observed.

I started to feel an itch on my wrist, so I looked down and saw a tick on my hand. I was about to flick it away when I heard a high-pitched and very faint voice yelling, “Nooooo! Please help me!”

Now I thought it was crazy, but I was almost sure that this little creature was talking! I stepped into a vacant room and decided to see if that was right.

I held the creature next to my ear and could clearly hear him saying, “Please help me!” I was astonished, but I wanted to try to help. I said, “What do you need?” He answered, but his voice wasn’t as loud. I had an idea, I held my hand near my ear and he crawled just inside and perched there.

“Oh, thank you,” he said, “I was riding on a dog’s back and he ran inside here, this must be his owner’s house. I fell off, now I can’t find the dog and I don’t know where I am. I’m supposed to just cling to things and suck blood, but I’m not going to suck your blood since you helped me.”

“I appreciate that,” I replied, “and I’ll help you find the dog. I’m here with a friend but he disappeared, and I don’t know anybody so I’m being ignored.”

“Ok well I can see just fine from here,” he said, “so as you walk around I’ll look for the dog.”

I went back to the main area and made my way through the crowd. As I walked I could hear the little creature saying, “Ohhhhh, where’s the dog? What if I can’t find him? Ohhhhhh…” I whispered, “Will you relax?”

Someone stopped me and asked if I was having a good time. As I started to answer, I heard, “There’s the dog!” in my ear. The little bug started moving around and it was making my ear itch. I jerked my head to the side to get him to stop.

"I'm the host," the man was saying to me, "So let me know if there is anything you need." I told him thanks, and I twitched again as he turned to walk away.

"Will you be still?" I whispered. "Sorry!" said the creature, "But I see the dog! He's in the kitchen. If you can get near him I'll jump onto his back."

I cut through the crowd and found the dog, I stood right next to it. "Ok now jump," I said. "Ohhhhhh," said the creature, "what if I don't make it? I've never done this before, ooooohhhhhh." He started moving around again, and the itch was unbearable. I shook my head quickly to the side and heard, "Ooohhhh, I can't do this, ooooohhhhh…." Finally, I could stand it no longer and yelled, "Jump!"

Several people stared at me. But the itch was gone. I just nodded and said I was looking for some food. The host was nearby, and he asked if I was ok. “I’m fine,” I said, “I’m here with a friend but he vanished and I don’t know anyone.”

The host said, “Oh, well I’ve noticed that you were shaking your head a lot, and it looked like you might be talking to yourself.”

I laughed and replied, “Oh it’s nothing. It was just a nervous tick.”