414 - Quotes?

Are these quotes? Who knows. I didn't bother looking them up. These are from t-shirts and plaques in a mail order catalog. I haven't ordered any yet but there are quite few good one's here.


I’m confused … wait … maybe I’m not.
I have multiple personalities and none of them like you.
I smile because you’re my sister. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.
Jesus loves you, but I’m his favorite.
Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a normal family.
I used to care. But I take a pill for that now.
Manure Occureth
I’m not stubborn. My way is just better.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Look who’s here!
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
(old squirrel) I’m so old I can’t remember where my nuts are.
I feel a SIN comin’ on.
I don’t have ADD. It’s just that … OH LOOK! A bunny rabbit!
I live at the corner of “kiss my ass avenue” and “no friggin way”.
Put on the big girl panties and deal with it.
WARNING – I have gas and I know how to use it.
I tried being good but I got bored.
I’m OCD – Old, Cranky, and Demented
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

(too late for the last half of that last one)