1666 - USA USA!!

Here's an interesting map. It's a 'your not us' map.

There are more maps HERE.

Here's a quote that sort of goes along with this map.

I never came across anyone in whom the moral sense was dominant who was not heartless, cruel, vindictive, log-stupid, and entirely lacking in the smallest sense of humanity. Moral people, as they are termed, are simple beasts. I would sooner have fifty unnatural vices than one unnatural virtue.

--Oscar Wilde


 

1643 - Instructions for Life

I found the instructions for life on a joke site. There were 43 of them. I thought I would check the net. There are lots of variations. But I think I've narrowed the search back to the Dalai Lama. Here are his 19 'Instructions for Life".


1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.

3. Follow the three Rs:
Respect for self
Respect for others and
Responsibility for all your actions.

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

7. When you realise you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

8. Spend some time alone every day.

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.

15. Be gentle with the earth.

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

I think I like #8 best.

 

1558 - Isaac

Jay had this on his Tumblr site.

"Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.’"
— Isaac Asimov

That means it came from who the heck knows where. Anyway I looked at this and thought if I were to put this on a tshirt I think it would say...

"Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that ‘your ignorance is just as good as my knowledge.’"

You know what I mean?

More quotes from Isaac.

 

1050 - Guy goof girl goof

I realized I was missing a sock the other day. HEY! I think I see where it went!





Sometimes you just have to be direct. (I LOL when I read this one)(I still LOL when I read it)



 

835 - Quote

I couldn't remember if I heard this or I thought this up myself. I did an internet search and came up with nothing. I therefor take credit for a new quote. This quote says that nobody can know everything.

"A true expert knows they're not."
Mike - BVN

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564 - Conspiracy theory

Why didn't I think of this before. The stock market crash is a conspiracy against Obama. Think about it. Obama is getting a lot of money in small amounts from everyday people. So they're crashing the market and making the small investor paranoid so the middle class will stop sending money to political campaigns. Who will that affect the most? Obama. The super rich will still send money to the republicans. The middle class will have a tendency to hold onto their money because of fear of the market.

I know Obama has had a $1000 a plate dinner because it made the news. You don't hear about the republican dinners because there are so many of them it's not news.

I know it's all true because I just made it up and I don't make up things that aren't true.

Hey! I think that last line is a new quote!

560 - Tshirt sayings - best one first

A new catalog showed up yesterday with some cool tshirt sayings in it. One stood out for me. I was going to make it the last one but thought better of it. You might not get that far into the post.

--------------------------
Sometimes I wonder
"Why is that frisbee getting bigger?"
And then it hits me.
--------------------------
I came
I mowed
I kicked grass
--------------------------
Careful, or
you'll end up
in my novel
--------------------------
HERE I AM!
now what are your other two wishes?
--------------------------
What I really need are
MINIONS
--------------------------
Just be happy
I'm not a twin
--------------------------
SARCASM
just one more
service I offer
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NATIONAL SARCASM SOCIETY
like we need your support
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I have no idea what
I'm doing out of bed
--------------------------
I'm retired and you're not -
Nah-na-na-nah-nah
--------------------------
Even my imaginary friend
doesn't like you
--------------------------
I'm so far over the the hill
I've started up the next one
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My Indian name is
Runs With Beer
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I barely survived yesterday
and it's already today
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536 - Quotes

Here's some quotes from one guy (probably). Ahhhh it feels good to get back into the idea theft business. Thanks indexed. The last quote is especially relevant today (9-11).


A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.

I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail.

Education is learning to grow, learning what to grow toward, learning what is good and bad, learning what is desirable and undesirable, learning what to choose and what not to choose.


The story of the human race is the story of men and women selling themselves short.

Victory depends on whether or not a duelist has the courage to fight until the bitter end.

What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself.

If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.

The way to recover the meaning of life and the worthwhileness of life is to recover the power of experience, to have impulse voices from within, and to be able to hear these impulse voices from within-and make the point: This can be done.

The good society is one in which virtue pays.

What shall we think of a well-adjusted slave?

Laugh at what you hold sacred, and still hold it sacred.

You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety.


Link - The quoter

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Post update - I can't wait until tomorrow. Go visit Mike Peters editorials for the last week.

517 - Quotes

Time for some quotes again.
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"Reality is the only obstacle to happiness."
"Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world."

"Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?"
"Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards".
"The highway of life is always under construction".
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."

"Borrow money from pessimists ...... they don't expect to get paid back!"

"He who laughs last thinks slowest!"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."
"If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!"

"Folks who think they must always speak the truth overlook another good choice ... silence."

510 - Quotes

I haven't done any quotes in a while. Situation fixed!
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"If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself".
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian."
"If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?"
"Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?"
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

"When all else fails, read the instructions."
"Life is what happens to you while you are planning to do something else."

"Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate."
"If the enemy is in range, so are you."

"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard!"
"The problem with the gene pool is most people are in the shallow end!"

"No man knows less than the man who knows it all."
"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

"Normal is just a cycle on the washing machine!"
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493 - New quote

After posting the "you make me sick" banner in my last post I had a thought that I've just turned into a quote.

Jesus was not a fundamentalist.
If he was we would all still be Jewish.

So then I thought, I wonder if anybody has thought of this before. I googled the first line. Only SIX hits! And none with the second line! A new quote is born!

I'm not going to think about this to much because anybody can pick anything apart, especially me. Post and go!

Here's some stuff from the one of the hits I did get. They're from 2006.

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I wonder if the rise of fundamentalism is a direct result to the increased anxiety of our culture. Jesus was not a fundamentalist. He struggled with the fundamentalists of his age, who by their own anxiety determined they would provide a pure path for people to follow and looked down all others who refused to follow.

We live in an age increased uncertainty. We no longer have clear enemies, what we thought we could count on has gone. We are in every measurable way better off than any previous generation, yet there a feeling that there is something wrong. Fundamentalism provides the certainty we long for.

Comment by kent — August 25, 2006



Here's some text from the site.

There is a conviction among Neo-Fundamentalists that one can’t err if one gets too conservative, but that is the sin of what I called “zealotry.”

What I can’t understand is why people want to go there: its history is predictable. Though I’m no prophet, this is what I think might occur:

It will become insular and separatistic,
it will become divisive and accusatory from within,
it will lack grace,
it will create Christians who are not free in the Spirit but who will be rigid and intolerant,
it will become socially withdrawn,
it will lose a prophetic voice because it will lose contact with culture,
it will attract angry, defensive, and mean-spirited individuals… I could go on.

430 - Topys

Looking over my lsat post I fuond anuther topy. Topys drive my nuts. I can reed over and ovr agian and stil misss some of the simplest topy misteaks. I gues once you have on your head whatt someting is suposed to say, u keep rereeding the same thin. BUt I find it hadr to let somethng sit long enuff to proff reed it. So eye just let it looose. Oh whel, such is life.


So much for that. Here's some quotes from some unknown quotists. They are unknown because I didn't take the time to look the quote up on the net. Such is life also.

"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep until noon."
"If the going gets easy you may be going downhill."
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up!"
"If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?"
"Life is uncertain, eat dessert first."

419 - Quotes

They Start off mellow and go into a touch of sarcasm. Then finish with some good advice.

Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
The best vitamin for making friends is B1.
The happiness of my life depends on the quality of my thoughts.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future ...... laziness pays off NOW!
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
In the choice of two evils, I pick the one I've never tried before.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It's full of nuts.
Make friends before you need them.

414 - Quotes?

Are these quotes? Who knows. I didn't bother looking them up. These are from t-shirts and plaques in a mail order catalog. I haven't ordered any yet but there are quite few good one's here.


I’m confused … wait … maybe I’m not.
I have multiple personalities and none of them like you.
I smile because you’re my sister. I laugh because there’s nothing you can do about it.
Jesus loves you, but I’m his favorite.
Remember, as far as anyone knows, we’re a normal family.
I used to care. But I take a pill for that now.
Manure Occureth
I’m not stubborn. My way is just better.
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. Look who’s here!
I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.
(old squirrel) I’m so old I can’t remember where my nuts are.
I feel a SIN comin’ on.
I don’t have ADD. It’s just that … OH LOOK! A bunny rabbit!
I live at the corner of “kiss my ass avenue” and “no friggin way”.
Put on the big girl panties and deal with it.
WARNING – I have gas and I know how to use it.
I tried being good but I got bored.
I’m OCD – Old, Cranky, and Demented
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

(too late for the last half of that last one)

401 - quotes

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.
--- Speaking of words, go to the last post.

You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself.
--- Say to yourself your going to go.

Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
--- Learn some new words and save the world.

The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime.
--- Learning new words is happiness, chase some down.

--- I don't know where the previous quotes came from other than an email. But the following one came from 'Jane Howard'.

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
--- That's everybody out there reading this. I declare you my ... 'tribe'.

Jeez, I almost forgot to warn everybody today's Friday the 13th. It can sneak up on you when it's on another day of the week.

389 - Back to quotes

After the rousing response to my last post I think I'll go back to some quotes. These quotes are to get you going. And as I sit here and look out the window thinking about starting something, I'm not really sure if I want to put the time in on something I'm not sure about. I think I'll sleep on it and start it later.


If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep.

If you lack the courage to start, you are already finished.

Your ideas won't work unless you do.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
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385 - 3 quotes

- A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.

- The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge.

- Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

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I like the last one best because it goes along with my blog title.

382 - Contagion

Well I'm lost for a post today so I guess I'll go scouting other sites to see what I can find. Be back in a minute ...........................
.....................
.....................

I found something on the WMS site. It's a quote from SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE.
"Nothing is so contagious as enthusiasm."

Well that's the best I can come up with. Do with it what you want. Don't get to carried away though.

Link - WMS
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378 - Email jokes

The good better best was in the email. You'll have to decide on your own if the labels fit.

GOOD
A Bloomington, IL policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem - a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign, which read 'RADAR TRAP AHEAD'. The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading 'TIPS' and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!).

BETTER
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Peoria, IL. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

BEST
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. An Illinois State Trooper walked to her car window and flipped open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball". He replied, "Illinois State Troopers don't have balls". There was a moment of silence while she just smiled. He realized what he'd just said, closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left.


And finally 3 QUOTES -
Words of Wisdom from restroom graffiti -
"To do is to be" - Descartes
"To be is to do" - Voltaire
"Do be do be do" - Sinatra


And finally finally, my hit count goes over a thousand. Only about 4200 to catch up with John and 9300 for Bilbo. I'm on a roll!!!
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356 - Quote and me

Went to John's quote site to get some wisdom.

BUDDHA
"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense."

This pretty much eliminates the rest of the world.

Link - wise-men-say
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