Top 10 thought to ponder. Some repeats here but also some new ones.
Number 10 Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .
Number 7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 Some people are like a Slinky - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you push them down the stairs.
Number 5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Number 4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $1000, and a substantial tax cut saves you $10?
Number 2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1 Thought Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
Number 0 As someone recently said to me: "Don't worry about old age - it doesn't last long."
I know, there's 11 of them. But zero is not a number so I couldn't count it.
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Sunday Selections #799
26 minutes ago
4 comments:
Eleven, shpeleven...they're all true. Only thing is, according to Number 10, I'm probably dead.
B - I think number 1 would kill me. Or at least make seem like I was dying.
Number 6 is my favorite
MD - The slinky one has been around awhile but it's a classic.
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