How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, where does morality come from?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, is it you?
If you get 10 million hits on Google, how many can you actually look at?
Posts
7 comments:
these are great.
I know I'm the 1 in 4, and I'm proud
I DID try singing the 2 songs damn it
How did you know I would?
Baby oil thing....not okay.
LOL I did sing those songs, even went into a few versus to see if there was a difference.
ISF- Tell me about it. I guess they enjoy kicking you when you're down.
As far as the mental health issue. I am surrounded by crazies as you may have read in my blog so I'm golden!
I thought about my friends and realized I'm four out of four crazies. I guess I collect them. Wanna hang out?
MD - Too many of them are true.
D - I tried singing also. But when I try to sing the neighhbors complain.
RW - Your neighbor saved you from being the one.
K - I'm going to have to check with my imaginary friends. They control things around here.
1000. That's the answer to the last question.
"Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?"
Maybe somebody was rewriting this to make it sound less offensive (not you, Mike), but (one "t") shouldn't "butt" be "ass"?
As in "Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's inside your ass?"
Just sayin'.
Post a Comment