Here's a few from Not Always Right.
I think this guy gave it the ol' college try.
Call Center | Chicago, IL, USA | Scammers
Customer: “Last night, I was drunk on a boat and I threw my phone overboard. Now it is on the bottom of the lake. Can you send someone to pick it up for an exchange?”
Me: “I thought I heard you said it is on the bottom of a lake.”
Customer: “Yes, it is. Can you send someone?”
Me: “No, we cannot send someone to the bottom of the lake to pick it up. Also, since you don’t have your phone, we can’t exchange it.”
Customer: “But I do have it, it’s in the bottom of the lake.”
Me: “Then, you don’t have it.”
Customer: “But, I do have it. I mean, it’s not in my hands but I know where it is, so it counts as if I had it.”
Me: “No, it doesn’t, sir. Besides, we need to have the phone first in order to send you a replacement.”
Customer: “I do have it. It’s at the bottom of the lake!”
Me: “The warranty doesn’t cover liquid damage.”
Customer: “How do you know it has liquid damage?”
Me: “The phone is at the bottom of a lake!”
Home improvement | Wilmington, NC, USA | Extra Stupid
Customer: “Excuse me, I have these wires that are red, black, and white, coming out of my drywall in my garage. I touched them and they did not appear live. I need to do something with them so I can patch the wall.”
Me: “Okay, we can get some caps for you and some electrical tape. Just cap each one individually and wrap them individually with the tape and
you can tuck them back into the wall without any issues.”
Customer: “Should I test them to see if they are live? Should I touch them to my tongue?”
Me: “No!”
I say YES! Go for it dude!
We need books. Badly.
Bookstore | Chicago, IL, USA |
(A teenage customer walks in. She looks around for a while, but it seems she can’t find what she’s looking for.)
Me: “Do you need any help, ma’am?”
Customer: “Yes, I’m looking for the book that teaches you how to kill birds.”
Me: “We have a few hunting books in non-fiction if that’s what your looking for.”
Customer: “No. This book is fiction. It’s called How To Kill A Bird or something.”
Me: “Are you talking about To Kill a Mockingbird?”
Customer: “Yes! That’s it! Could you tell me where that is?”
Car Rental | Saskatchewan, Canada |
Customer: “I would like to book a car for the 21st.”
Me: “Okay, so August 21st?”
Customer: “No, July 21st. We are in July.”
Me: “Sir, it’s July 24th today.”
Customer: “Oh…” *pauses* “…I’ll call you back.”
I think this was just a retired guy.
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Cactus. Fasciation. White-winged dove. And Stevie Nicks.
21 minutes ago
6 comments:
I used to think I had some real doozies when I worked airline reservation sales. Oh my! Sadly I am still getting them in construction. I tell friends what people say and they always think I make it up -you can't make this stuff up. But you can tell them to stop calling me!
In 1982 I was working for a small commuter air carrier. I made this woman's reservation and at conclusion she asked me, "Where will you pick me up?" I guess she thought since this was a small jet we'd pull up in her driveway. She's probably now running for president.
M - You could have offered her 'drop off' service. Parachute not included.
I love the To Kill a Bird one
sad but oh so common
maybe they can text the classics to idiots
D - Now that's an idea! One paragraph a day.
I say that dude not only test those wires with his tongue, but stick his tongue in all the electrical outlets to see if they work too.
Jay
You go, Peggy Girl! I used to be upset that we females are harder than necessary on other females, but Michelle Bachmann and Sarah Palin have shown me why it's of dire importance that we be this way.
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