Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language today is the word "fuck". It is the magical word which, just by its sound can describe pain, pleasure, love, and hate.
In language, "fuck" falls into many Grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was Fucked by John).
It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), and adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck).
It can also be used as an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be ued as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).
As you can see there are very words with the overall versitility of the word fuck. Aside from its sexual connotations, this word can be used to describe many situations:
1. Greetings........."How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud............."I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation......."Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble..........."I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Agression........."FUCK YOU!"
6. Disgust..........."Fuck me."
7. Confusion........."What the fuck?"
8. Displeasure......."Fucking shit man..."
9. Lost.............."Where the fuck are we?"
10.Disbelief........."UNFUCKINGBELIEVABLE!!"
11.Retaliation......."Up your fucking ass!"
12.Apathy............"Who really gives a fuck?"
13.Suspicion........."Who the fuck are you?"
14.Directions........"Fuck off."
15.Anger............."Go fuck yourself"
16.Errors............"That's pretty fucked up!"
17.Ineptness........."He's a fuck-up."
It can be maternal........"MOTHERFUCKER!!"
It can be used to tell time......." It's four fucking twenty!"
It can be used as an anatomical description............."He's a fucking asshole."
Lastly, it has been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the fuck was that?" - Mayor of Hiroshima
"That's not a real fucking gun." - John Lennon
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" - Captain of the Titanic
"Who the fuck is gonna find out?" - Richard Nixon
"Heads are gonna fucking roll." - Anne Boleyn
"Any fucking idiot could answer that." - Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" - Michaelangelo
"Fuck a duck." - Walt Disney
"Houston we have a big fucking problem." - The crew of Apollo 13
A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drives off to the right and the other drives off to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups.
Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golfbag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea."
The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband, "Hey, where's your ball?" "It's over here in the pussy willows." The wife screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!!"
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5 comments:
I read this last joke out loud to my husband this a.m.
He loved it! Thanks Mikey. :-)
That last one was hilarious!
Oh fuck that was a good post.
Now give it a few days and see all the crazies that come to your blog searching for fuck.
M - That was a brand new one for me.
L - I wasn't seaching for it and I found it. I can imagine what the searchers find when they are.
For your f'ing information:
http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl-f-word.htm
I'm very offended by the gratuitous use of of the "F-Word" on this blog.
Jay
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