(picking on the girls today)
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, ‘I don‘t feel like it, I
just want you to hold me.‘ I said, ‘WHAT?! What was that?!‘
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear.... ‘You are just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.‘
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, ‘Can‘t
you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?‘
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.
She couldn‘t decide which one to take, so I
told her we‘d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new
clothes, so I said, ‘Let's get a pair for each outfit.‘
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis bracelet when she doesn‘t even know how to play tennis. I think I threw
her for a loop when I said, ‘That‘s fine, honey.‘
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited
anticipation, she finally said, ‘I think this is all dear, let‘s go to the
cashier.‘
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, ‘No honey, I don‘t
feel like it.‘
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled, ‘WHAT?‘
I then said, ‘Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a
while. You are just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.‘
And just when she had this look
like she was going to kill me, I added, ‘Why can‘t you just love me for who I
am and not for the things I buy you?‘
Apparently, I am not having sex tonight.
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7 comments:
Probably not going to share this week's joke with my wife.
But it was good!
John - It's probably too full of guy logic.
We've all been there.
And that's why women should all be lesbians.
Bill - Yep.
Deb - Can guys be lesbians too?
Being a man must be exhausting, you have to be so political/wifely correct.
Susan - The wifely correct is the hard part.
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