Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra curricular activities , but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon .
She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that every one seeing it there 'WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING !'
Frank , a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... walked home ... and left it there all night !!!
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business. When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.
One evening, at an investment meeting, he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary guy," he said to her, "but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million." Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.
This says it all about getting older & the whole aging thing.
An elderly couple are attending church services. About halfway through, she writes a note and hands it to her husband. It says, " I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
He scribbles back, " Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
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6 comments:
I can identify with that second one. Women only want me for my money.
Wait. That's not right. Women DON'T want me because I have NO money. Yeah, that's it. haha
Is there a church anywhere without a gossip?
Friend of mine (after his third divorce): I'm not getting married again. I'll tell just tell them--sleep with me for a couple of years and I'll buy you a house!
J - You can dream, then reality rears it's ugly head.
B - That's why I try to stay away from those places. But they trick me into coming by serving food.
J - I read right past the typo even after you tried to fix it.
Financial planning. Yep. Called that one right.
vw: pickc - what the contestant did on Wheel of Fortune.
Good show on the part of that truckdriver in the church gossip joke. Saw the stepmother thing coming in the second joke. Loved the hearing aid one!
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