Monday, October 04, 2010

1293 - Answers

I got this email from a confused person. I thought I would help them out......

Only in America ...... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
Simple - Coorporate greed.

Only in America ..... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
A penny saved is a penny earned; a calory saved is probably a waste of time.

Only in America ...... do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
The thieves are in front of the counters.

Only in America ...... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. My car is covered by insurance.

Only in America ...... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
If you buy 40 of each it all evens out.

Only in America ...... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
Untrusting blind person in the back seat.

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?
On Saturday September 16th 2006 in Western Australia, Psychics share 22 million dollar payout. (Put 'psychic wins lottery' in google to see more.)

Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?
Origin:1400–50; late ME abbreviaten -LL abbreviātus shortened (ptp. of abbreviāre), equiv. to L ad- ad- + breviātus (brevi (s) short + -ātus -ate)

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?
Because that's exactly what it is.

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
(Someone else check this out, OK?)

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Because that's what you become after giving your money to someone else.

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Because it's a time when can just sit and listen to that great rock band Rush.

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Whose going to do the taste test to prove that?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Because then the birds would eat YOU!

Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
To prevent lawsuits from last minute repreaves.

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!
If they did you wouldn't need the black box because the plane couldn't get off the ground.

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
They do. I've seen it happen.

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Origin:1635–45; -F appartement -It appartamento, equiv. to apparta ( re ) to separate, divide (v. deriv. of a parte apart, to one side) + -mento -ment

If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
I've got nothing here.

If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Origin:1480–90; late ME -L terminālis, equiv. to termin ( us ) end, limit + -ālis -al

6 comments:

Bilbo said...

"If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?" QED.

Amanda said...

I'm wondering why bits and pieces of information like this, that I don't need, stick in my head.

Bandit said...

Too much info on the sheep one.

Raquel's World said...

I for one, learned quite a bit here.

Jay said...

I wonder if when these questions were originally written the person actually wanted them answered. If so, I hope they read this post.

Mike said...

B - And demonstrate they have.

A - Because you thought you will never be tested on them. However there will be test next week on these.

B - A field of sheep. Hmmmmm

RW - Blogging can be fun AND educational.

J - I think that person may be dead.