656 - CO2

That's carbon dioxide. The global warming gas. But it can also be the sick building gas. Sick Building Syndrome can be caused by a bunch of different things but let's go back 10 or so years. I was working in a newly opened building. At first everything was OK but as more people moved in it felt like I had a mild sore throat all the time. I mentioned this to 'whomever' and the environmental guy showed up. He checked for all the bad stuff and came back to tell me that the co2 levels were right at the limits. (Then the limits were 1000ppm) The fix was to bring more fresh air into the building. And it worked.

Now picture me working from home. In the basement. In the fall, so the AC or the heat is not on. What does that mean? Stagnant air in the basement. After a few days I'm starting to feel sick. Then the light bulb comes on as it does every once in awhile. I turn on the blower motor for the HVC system, air circulates, and I feel better. All fixed. So anytime the AC or the heat is not turned on I make sure the blower motor runs for awhile everyday to circulate the air.

655 - Some one liners

I like number 9 best. I mean the ninth one.

And I guess it would have been easier for somebody to copy these if I would have typed them all out. I thought about that. But not for very long.

654 - More Christmas music

OK John, here's a Christmas carol that will probably be more to your liking.



And gas is falling so fast it's $1.39 at my local station. Now people can afford to drive to their jo...... I mean go look for a job.
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653 - Email

Normally I get email notifications when a comment is posted. But I haven't been getting them about half the time recently. Today I logged onto the server and checked email there. And there were all the missing emails in the server spam file. I love computers.

652 - Lightning

Lots of storms around here today. So how about some lightning strikes to look at? Youtube has a bunch. Here's some of the better ones. The first one happens 47 seconds into the video.

Strike one
Strike two
Strike three
Strike four
Strike five
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651 - Back in business

The site Not Always Right was without a moderator for a while. It seems they found one and they are back in business. The first three and half pages are newer. Here's a sample of one of the latest crazy customers.

*********************

TECH SUPPORT | OSLO, NORWAY
(I work as a phone support technician for a large software company. Once a month one of our mentors listen to our calls, to ensure that we follow protocol. I was being listened to one day a few weeks ago.)

Me: “Welcome to Tech Support, you’re talking to ****”

Customer: “Hi, my name is ****, and I work at **** bank. You’ve really gotta help me! I’ve got this message on my computer, and I don’t know what to do!”

Me: “Okay, if you could start by reading the message to me, I’ll see what we can do.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.. It says: ‘Your computer has been automatically adjusted for daylight savings time.’ What do i do?!”

Me: “Er…is there a button that says ‘OK’?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you tell me what happens when you click the ‘OK’ button?”

Customer: “Oh, thank you very much! You’re a life saver! Thank you, thank you; now I can finally get these reports done!!” *hangs up*

Me: “…you’re welcome?”

Mentor: *after listening in* “You know what the scary part is? That is my contact at the bank… the same person I entrust my life savings to.”

650 - Present

I thought you might like to see one of the presents I got. But I'm going to need some donations to to be able to use it often enough.

PRESENT!!

I added the college humor site to my other links. Don't know why I didn't have it there before.
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649 - Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all my Christian friends.

To all the other people in the world, have a blessed, blest, blissful, blithe, captivated, cheerful, chipper, chirpy, content, contented, convivial, delighted, ecstatic, elated, exultant, glad, gleeful, gratified, happy, intoxicated, jolly, joyful, joyous, jubilant, laughing, light, lively, mirthful, overjoyed, peaceful, peppy, perky, playful, pleasant, pleased, sparkling, sunny, thrilled, tickled, upbeat holiday season.

648 - Bush joke

Get 'em while you can. Time is running out. Look at this right before you leave work. This will temporarily bring you down from your holiday high and allow you to drive home safely before that giddy feeling returns.

Bush Resume
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647 - Calendar

Here's an idea for next year. I'll be in charge. Then John, Bilbo, Fiona and Rima can do some research so we can put this together. OK, Claudia can help too. Let's do a calendar that has all the religious holiday's for ALL the major religions. See the pie chart below. We'll want to pick up all the various sects of the main 17. The other category could get a little labor intensive. Our two government workers can do that since they have lots of free time. Other people are welcome to volunteer.

I think this calendar will be big. I think every day will probably be covered multiple times by some sect of various religions. Some days may be bigger than others. The new rule will be if three or more events from any religion happen on that day, it's a holiday. So let's get going. Send me updates and I'll tell you how I think you're doing.

646 - Osama joke

----Osama allowed a short visit to Heaven -----

After his death, Osama bin Laden was allowed a short visit Heaven.

There he was greeted by George Washington, who proceeded to slap him across the face and yell at him, "How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!"

Patrick Henry approached and punched Osama in the nose and shouted, "You wanted to end our liberties but you failed."

James Madison entered, kicked Osama in the groin and said, "This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!"

Thomas Jefferson came in and proceeded to beat Osama many times with a long cane and said, "It was evil men like you that provided me the inspiration to pen the Declaration of Independence!".

These beatings and thrashings continued as John Rudolph, James Monroe and 66 other early Americans came in and unleashed their anger on the Muslim terrorist leader.

As Osama lay bleeding and writhing in unbearable pain an Angel appeared.

Bin Laden wept in pain and said to the Angel, "This is not what you promised me."

The Angel replied, "I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?"

645 - Perils of Catholic Upbringing

I got this heart warming story in an email. Here it is.

********************************

As I walked down the busy sidewalk, knowing I was late for Mass, my eye fell upon one of those very unfortunate, homeless vagabonds that are found in every city these days.

Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them.

Recalling my old pastor, Father John, who always admonished me to 'care for the sick, feed the hungry and cloth the naked,' I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.

Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person's condition.

Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.

A small voice inside my head called out, 'Reach out Bill, reach out and touch this person!'

So I did ................





I won't be at mass this week.

644 - Blogging break

That's where everybody was yesterday. Blogging break. Very few new posts let alone comments. You would think everyone was stuck at the mall. But how can that be. We went to a local strip mall last night and just about had the whole place to ourselves. Some stores had closed early. Maybe the Baltic Dry Index is kicking in.

Some say this is the shortest day of the year. I say it depends on what hemisphere you're in. Or I also say all the days are the same length, 24 hours. Or 24 hours ± 30 seconds depending on how accurate you want to be. Or 86,400.002 seconds if you're calculating something.

643 - Guys, don't do any of this stuff.

In trolling the net recently I ran across some links to a female magazines 'give your guy a test' articles. That lead to another and another and so on. So I'm giving the links to the guys so they know what not to do. Guys, the girls already have this stuff memorized. So the goal here is to know what they know. And then keep reminding me because I don't remember any of this stuff anymore.

So remember, to goal is to know your enem..... oppositiony.

First
Second
Third
Fourth
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642 - Friday bonus

Just had a friend send a cartoon. Thought I would post it today to get you geared up for Bilbo's cartoon Saturday. Because tomorrow I'm going to try to post a bunch of links that will require a lot of reading. They will be about females screwing with guys heads. Lacochran's blog today reminded me of my collection. I've been holding them in reserve so by talking about them I might finally get them out here. Now the cartoon.

641 - BDI

What the hell is the BDI? I'd never heard of it before. Could it be that important? (very possibly knowing me) It's the Baltic Dry Index. And it's dropped 93%. What is it? It's an index of the dry raw materials that are being shipped around the world. It's like 'futures' for shipping (I think). Here's wikipedia's version of what it is.

It hangs around 1000 most of the time. Over the last few years it has run up to around 12,000. In the last three months it's dropped like a rock. I called a friend of my who's into financial stuff (he gets the Wall Street Journal delivered to his house). I asked him if he had ever heard of it. Sure he says, they talk about it every once in a while in the journal. He then proceeds to tell me all the stuff I had just found out, off the top of his head.

So I told him about the video I had just watched about how the world was going to end and he said, "whatever".

So you get to make up your own mind. Should we start stocking up on food? Go stock up on ammo for our guns? (I guess I'll have to get one first) Will there be panic in the streets!!!! OMG!! Video proof. I love a good conspiracy theory.

640 - You are here

Fiona, I figured it out. On posts 638 and 632 ... the 'you are here' posts? I know how to know where you are. Put the little x on the bottom of your shoe. If you want to know where you are just pick up you foot and look at the x. There you ARE!!

Just make sure not to throw your shoe at anybody. Because then they will be where you're supposed to be and you won't be anywhere.

639 - Wednesday bonus

The scrooge in me enjoys these way to much.


duplex

638 - Cartoons

I saw these Monday. There seemed to be more than the alloted amount of funny ones. So I let them sit for a day. I still like them so here they are.

Fiona, another 'you are here' cartoon that gets right to the point. . . Ziggy



I had to go back and reread this. Then went DOH! . . .Grimmy



And they wonder why we don't like them. . . .NSq



Yes indeed. . . .Speed Bump



Happy holidays, or not. . . .Duplex

637 - The secret signals in human sweat

Girls, wonder why the guy's call it sniffin'? Guy's, do you know they're sniffin' you back? Here's an article from New Scientist about human pheromones. It makes a case for why they think they exist but scientists haven't pinned them down yet. Wait until you find out who's sniffin' what.

I haven't used my 'long article' blog site for awhile, I think this is the time. It's not THAT long but to long for here. Here's the article.

And if you do go to New Scientist remember it's a partial subscription site. I get the magazine so I can get to everything. Non subscribers can read about half the articles.
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636 - Monday extra

Fiona is talking about goo today. So I finally get around to the newspaper and what's on the front page? GOO And not just GOO, Golden GOO.

635 - The day I couldn't sit still

Movie review!!!!

The day the earth stood still. In Imax. With a tub of popcorn and two large soda's. I'm glad we got there early to get an aisle seat. No the movie wasn't bad. But we got there early and had LARGE soda's. The movie was good. But not $10 + $10 + $17 = $37 good. I hadn't been in the Imax at the local theater before so maybe it was worth it just to know not to waste money again. It wasn't the same as the Imax at the science center.

Back to the movie. It was a good modernized remake with all the appropriate video manipulation. It keeps your attention (mine anyway) through the whole movie. BUT. There I am sitting there saying I don't think I can make it to the end of the movie. POTTY BREAK. There has to be a half an hour at least left. I go and get back. My butt hits the seat - THE END. WHAT!!!! I turn to Claudia and say "what happened"? She gives a brief description of the last few minutes and I went ..... OK, let's get outa' here.

I think I've seen so many things blow up on the screen lately that I can't recognize when the climax is coming anymore. (leave it alone, no comments from the peanut gallery)


Now that THAT is out of my system let's look at the word 'aisle'. I can't remember the last time I typed that word. It's a dumb word. Look at how it's spelled and listen to how it sounds. There's almost no relation. I had to think about it for a second. Isle? Nope that's and island. Eisle? Nope that doesn't look right. I had to spell check 'aisle' to make sure I had the right one. Who makes up these words anyway? Fiona?

634 - But(t)s flying everywhere

Too punny to pass up. Even if it does mean 3 cartoon days in a row. Next thing you know it will be booby's flying everywhere. WAIT - somebody's doing flying booby's already. Just a friendly reminder.



Mike Peters again.

Maybe I could do a butt meme for Rima. I could get into tha... I mean I could handle tha.... I mean I could look into tha... LOOK, THE GOODYEAR BLIMP!!!
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633 - The middle

I always like it when two cartoonists come up with similar cartoons from the same theme.


NonSQ


Mike Peters

And this is my monthly warning that today is Friday the 13th. See how it tried to trick you by waiting a day?!!! And with a full moon no less.

632 - Comics

We're all going to be hollering this soon if the economy doesn't get better. We'll be in an economic maze that we'll never get out of.


Mike Peters


All I can say about this is - exactly!


Beetle Bailey

631 - Makin' bacon

Not really. Here's a video on how bacon is processed.

That's all I've got today. Well you want more you say?!

OK OK Here's how they make hotdogs.
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.(time is passing)
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Here's the thing about staying up late. You run across other things to put out on your blog. PBS's show POV had a show on tonight titled "Can you afford to retire?" It's about 401K's and how they are not all they are hyped up to be. Watch the whole show here.

Let's see. Bacon processing. Hotdog processing. 401K's. I am NOT responsible for any mental distress cause by todays post.
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630 - Cheap and easy

I was looking for a cheap and easy post tonight and lacochran came through for me.

************
On Fiona's blog comments -
lacochran said...
But why don't they just start with the great big, clear letters?
That's me, glass half-empty. Top me off, will ya?
************

Let me refer everyone back to the beginning.
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629 - Just in time

I found this article just in time for the holidays. OK, so it's been out there for almost a year. It's still new and exciting information to me.

*********************************
It's once again time for New Year's resolutions—the time of year when we solemnly vow to eat right, exercise, save more than we spend, and be nicer to the people around us (at least for a few days). Fortunately, the editors at the Journal of the American Medical Association were nice enough to provide us with a New Year's resolution holiday gift: a new study that says it's not so bad to be a bit overweight, as long you're in good shape.
This study, led by Xuemei Sui of the University of South Carolina, followed 2,600 people over the age of 60 for an average of 12 years. The authors looked at overall fitness (measured by treadmill testing), body mass index (BMI), and other measurements such as waist circumference and body-fat percentage. They then investigated which of these was most important in predicting survival.
What they found struck a blow for common sense—and for the occasional holiday cookie. It was a person's level of fitness, not his or her BMI, that was associated with the lowest mortality over the 12-year study. In fact, people in the lowest 20 percent of physical fitness had more than twice the risk of dying, compared with people who were walking as little as 30 minutes a day, five days a week.

Discover Magazine - more links to other articles.

************************************

I sure am glad I'm in good shape. I've been on the treadmill 3 - 4 times in .......... the last 3 - 4 months. I wonder if you can get that 30 minutes a day once a week instead. It takes me 2 1/2 hours to cut the lawn. That should count as a week. And if I have to cut the lawn twice in a week .... well you get the idea. I think I've done enough over the summer that I should be good all winter.

And then to top it off I found another happiness article. Unfortunately they don't mention bloggers.

628 - Happiness

From the headlines ********************

Happiness May Spread in Social Networks

Happiness may be contagious, suggests a new study published online today in British Medical Journal. Researchers found that a person's happiness can spread within three degrees of separation. "Our own personal happiness spreads beyond people we're directly connected to," study co-author James Fowler, an associate professor of political science at the University of CaliforniaSan Diego, told HealthDay. The study looked at 4,739 children of original participants in the Framingham Heart Study and followed their friendships with others from 1983 to 2003. They found that a person's happiness is mostly likely to impact how happy the people closest to him are, including spouses, relatives, friends, and neighbors. But the happiness effect may also spread outward to people the original person has never met. The study is one in a series looking at how contagious loneliness, smoking, and other behaviors are.

************************

So here's the deal my social network. It's up to you to make me happy. And I don't think you're doing a good enough job!! So get your happy ass up and figure something out to make me more happy. This lack of happiness is making me ..... unhappy! I don't know how much longer I'm going to put up with this 'lack uh happy' before I have to do something about it myself.

And what are they talking about with happiness being contagious? Is that a good thing or not? I guess it depends on how you get happy.

627 - PBS/........../frontline

At the end of every Frontline show on PBS they say there's more on the web. As much time as I spend on the web I've never really watched a Frontline show there. At least not until just now. So you say 'just what I need, more time in front of the computer'. Well, if you have a big enough monitor, you can blow it up full screen and sit back and watch it like a TV. I've got a 19" monitor for my computer. That's bigger than the TV in my kitchen.

Here's a couple of plans. Set up a dual monitor system and have the second monitor sitting far enough away that it seems like a TV. Or put an easy chair in the corner of the computer room, start the program and sit in the real chair instead of the computer chair.

So here's a direct link to the Frontline site. The are 69 Frontline shows on line. The run times vary from 50 minutes to two hours. The one I just watched is call "Inside the teenage brain". I watch Frontline every chance I get on PBS, but there are about half of the 69 shows that I don't think I've seen before.

I think I'll set up that easy chair.

Update - I added the PBS videos link to my "other links" so I .... I mean YOU wouldn't have to try and find it again.
Put it in my favorites??? One of these days I'll try and count all the favorites I have.

626 - Video time

Here's two videos from the college humor site. The first one is a cool commercial. The second one cracked me up. It's from Germany and it's in German. But you don't need to know German to get a kick out of it. But it would be nice if somebody that knows German would transcribe it for the rest of us so we knew what the confused people were saying.

Commercial video

German mirror prank

625 - Little Johnny jokes

Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

* * * * * * * * * * *
The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?'

* * * * * * * * * * *
Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom.'

624 - Cartoons

Writers block - So the next best thing. Borrowed material. I'll give it back. I promise.

Alpha - Omega



We are kind of 'adrift' right now. Bush looting and pillaging. Obama waiting in the wings to see what's left. Ahhh politics.


Mike Peters

623 - techy stuff

I was reading some of the tips for bloggers that google provides and ran across one called 'stopwatch'. Here's the whole google paragraph explaining it. It generates some interesting stats.


The most important content of your blog that catches readers attention should load the quickest. To help you identify which items are taking the longest to load you can use Stopwatch. To use Stopwatch, enter your blog's URL into the text box and click "Start StopWatch". Stopwatch will then open your blog in a frame and will record the time it takes for everything on your blog to load, including images, videos, widgets, etc. Take note of the items that take the longest to load and modify them appropriately using our suggestions.

622 - Becky - civil liberties

Becky's got a good civil liberties post today. Lots of good links in the post to look at. Ever hear of the Posse Comitatus Act?

621 - Da Clintons!

Does Obama know how to play the game or WHAT! Make Hillary Secretary of State and then talk about getting Bill to fill her spot as Senator. And then keep a few Republicans around just to confuse everyone even more. This just keeps getting better and better.

I don't think Barack will have any problems reversing the stuff Bush and Cheney are trying to pull off now. He'll just wave what ever magic wand he found and it will all be fixed. Maybe he'll even get our 700 billion back. ..... Nah, I don't think anybody's that good.


And as an added bonus I ran across an emotion indicator I'd never seen before, WHAT? OH NO :0)

620 - Making some money

Claudia and I were in Borders book store the other day. A lot of people still go to book stores although I'm sure the internet has cut into their sales. One way they are trying to get people back to their stores is to increase the size of the books. Literally.

There are some book that are 18" by 24". That's one big book. Then there are the thick books. 800 to 900 pages. And most of them are on sale for 10 to 20 dollars.

Now comes the money making part. I was looking at the joke books. No big ones but plenty of thick ones. Some 300 to 400 pages. As I browsed through them I kept thinking to myself, I remember this joke. And this one. And this ONE. It seems people are recycling old jokes in the form of thick books. And some people don't even go to that much trouble. They take 40 or 50 old jokes, put some graphics on the page and presto, new joke book!

Now all I need to do is find my old joke file from work. That could take awhile. Or maybe some friends will send me a copy of all the jokes they've collected over the years. I'll have to send out a few emails and see if I can make that happen. I'm sure they will cooperate.