619 - Call me John

No don't call ME John. John is supposed to call me. Wait .. he did call me me. But did I get the call? Thanks to my LG cell phone - nope. I love cell phones, NOT.

My cell phone has the habit of locking up at times. You can look at it and everything seems fine. But, unbeknownst to me, I'm not getting any calls or can I make any. So take the battery out. Take the sim card out. Reinstall everything. Now it's OK. This has happened several times before. And since I don't use the stupid cell phone that often I usually don't catch the problem right away. So I missed John today. Oh well, next time.

And this has happened once to often so it's off to the cell phone store to get a different phone. Remember the good old days where you had the same phone for 30 years and if it did break you called somebody up to bring you a new one?

Oh and don't forget the number one word said over a cell phone, what? That's right, WHAT?




happy birthday to me happy birthday to ME happy birthday dear mEEEEeeeee hbd2m

618 - To wall or not to wall, that is the question

We haven't heard much about the Mexican wall recently. It will be interesting to see how the new administration handles this situation. In my view it's a double edged sword. Do we want immigrants to come here legally? Of course. Do we need a quota? Maybe. Do we need a wall? I don't think so.

A wall is to much of a symbol. We would be better off to create a huge gully before building a wall. We would be better off to fill the Rio Grand with acid before building a wall. There are just to many other electronic things to do that would be better.

What got me thinking about the wall?



So there's got to be something better over all. Like the way the feds brought down Elliot Ness. Taxes. We tax the illegals back to Mexico. Put anyone without a legal green card in the 90% tax bracket. That puts the employer on the hook also for improper withholdings. If someone is caught the illegal AND the employer are both responsible for unpaid taxes. The illegal goes to debtors prison until someone can pay the taxes he owes. The employer is responsible for the 90% of the prevailing wage, not what the illegal was paid. The employer, after paying a stiff fine, can then make the illegal pay him back the taxes if false credentials were presented.

I like this plan. Somebody that's already in Washington DC needs to present this plan to the proper authority's.

617 - J. L. Hewitt

I know, it's really 'Jennifer Love' Hewitt. The ghostess with the mostess. I've watched ghost bustess .... I mean whisperer since the beginning. It took a few shows to warm up to it but I've tried not to miss it. Until this year. You never know what's going on in the background but the character changes this year ....... I still watch it, but ... let's just say it doesn't matter anymore if I miss it.

So I checked around to see what else JLH does. For when the show tanks in the future. I was surprised. She's a singer too. Here's a video she did and it's not half bad. I don't think she could make a living as a singer but this is decent.

And then somebody (obviously a guy) did a video collage of JLH from her show and films here. I didn't know she had done as many films as she has. I generally don't like rap but it's got a good rap beat for the audio. It's a good mix. The song gets cut off at the end so I looked up just the song. Don't bother. The person that did the video edited the song into parts and the real song is not that good. I also couldn't understand 3/4 of what they were saying in the song so if you're a word person, listen at your own risk. Remember, it's rap.

And finally, Andrea, keep your comments clean. I've know you've mentioned JLH before on your blog.

616 - Thanksgiving!

It's Thanksgiving! Time to think about what your going to do to yourself today.


Quality time with the inlaws?



And if you're thinking of eating less and just kicking back and watching a little TV instead, think again.


So put that turkey leg down and get out there and hit the track. How about 8 miles today? Let me know how that works out. I may try it tomorrow. I'm glad computers don't count as TV time.

615 - No title, just 615

Hopefully our existing version of McCarthyism is going away. (Mike Peters)



I think God just has a warped sense of humor.



I see a job opening coming up.



I won't say whose name popped into my head when I saw this cartoon.


( Speed bump )

614 - Illusions - two types

I've been pruning some old favorites when I ran across this illusion link. It may be updated to a new format because it didn't look familiar. But it could be my memory going. Anyway, What?!, Anyway, it's got illusions you can play with so it's a hands on site. Go here to find it.


And as a bonus I have a Rima meme update.

613 - Number 12

I was checking out WEBMD the other day and ran into an interesting slide show about body quirks that people have and why they have them. There are 17 different little body quirks that this particular slide show talks about. When I got to number 12 I thought, "JOHN!!! Come on! They're everywhere now that he brought the subject up a while back". They're just waiting to jump out and scare the heck out of you. You can find the slide show here.

And at the end of every slide show is a list of other slide shows. This thing can keep you busy for awhile. Amanda and Fiona might be interested in this one since they still have kids.

612 - S & V

So I look at this and again go "what?" But knowing Mike Peters I know there's a pun in there somewhere. I continue to stare .... one .... two .... three .... DOH!!!! I showed it to Claudia and she got it right away. But then she's a word person and I'm a picture person. My apologies for thinking bad of the Saxon's.











Had to get this out here quick because Bilbo's coming back.

611 - Hillary

Hillary may be coming in the back door. Here's the headlines from the web.

Hillary Clinton will agree to serve as secretary of state in US President-elect Barack Obama's cabinet, the New York Times has reported.

After the Vice President, Speaker of the House of Representatives and President pro tempore of the Senate, guess who's next for succession to the presidency? Now she will start working on the timing for her political coup.

I know this is true because I made it up. And remember, I don't make up things that aren't true!

610 - Email scrabble

Take the first word(s) and rearrange into a phrase that matches the first word(s). I didn't verify any of these so if you find an error let me know. Or if you come up with anymore!!!

***************************************

DORMITORY
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER
MOON STARER

DESPERATION
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT
I'M A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO
TWELVE PLUS ONE

MOTHER-IN-LAW
WOMAN HITLER

609 - Be a beta tester

If your up for some self abuse you can beta test Google Chrome. It's Google's new web browser. There is a geeky why it works better tutorial if you want to do some reading. I got about half way through it.
Hey! It's got it's own spell checker. It's spell checking this stuff as I type it. I don't have to hit the spell check icon. The fonts are a little different but I may get used to them. They are changeable but trying to duplicate what was on IE isn't exact.
Also there are some security options that were set in IE that aren't set by default in GC. I was able to do a link with having to click a pop up warning. (I like this auto spell check a LOT.)
I've already sent in two trouble reports. When moving a bookmark, after you've moved it, the bookmarks close. So to see if it moved OK you have to open them back up again. And on ablogstalkers website there is a music player at the bottom of the page. With IE when you mouse over the playlist you can scroll the list. Not so with GC. (But you can scroll the bookmarks)
It copies all your bookmarks but puts them in alphabetical order. And after you visit your old sites, it does run noticeably faster than IE. I did have to download an update for adobe's video player.
What's the main difference. As with any any computer product it's just different.

608 - Women in politics

Sarah Palin's been waiting for another door to open.


Hillary could seize an opportunity.


Mike Peters

607 - Bilbo is still alive

Even when Bilbo's not blogging he's finding ways to send zingers. I got this last week. I'm paying him back by posting it late. One of these days I'll mail him a letter and tell him what I think!

606 - You're blocking my view.

True story.

A city councilman in Utah had a beautiful view of the east mountains, until a new neighbor purchased the lot below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the ordinances would allow, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the city to make sure they enforced the lower roof line ordinance. The new neighbor had to drop the roof line, at great expense.

Recently, Mark Easton called the city, and informed them that his new neighbor had installed some vents on the side of his home. Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the city to investigate. When they went to Mark's home to see the vent view, this is what they found...

605 - Email joke number ????

Some of these I've seen before but there are a bunch of new one's here. Not that I'm picking on the girls ...... WAIT, yes I am!!!

***************
MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, John and Bill go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, John and Bill will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

************

This all goes along with my post 233.

604 - Email jokes, part 604

Ever wondered what happens when Hallmark writers are having a bad day....

**********

My tire was thumping,

I thought it was flat.

When I looked at the tire...

I noticed your cat.

Sorry!

**********

Heard your wife left you,

How upset you must be.

But don't fret about it...

She moved in with me.

**********

Looking back over the years

that we've been together,

I can't help but wonder...

'What the Hell was I thinking?'

*********

Congratulations on your wedding day!

Too bad no one likes your husband.

**********

I've always wanted to have

someone to hold,

someone to love.

After having met you ..

I've changed my mind.

**********

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.

I never believed in Hell until I met you.

**********

As the wonderful days go by, I think of how lucky I am....

That you're not here to ruin them for me.

**********

Congratulations on your promotion.

Before you go...

Would you like to take this knife out of my back?

You'll probably need it again.

**********

Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!

(Available only in Tennessee, Arkansas , Kentucky & West Virginia , Mississippi , Florida )

**********

When we were together,

you always said you'd die for me.

Now that we've broken up,

I think it's time you kept your promise.

**********

We have been friends for a very long time ...

let's say we stop.

**********

I'm so miserable without you,

it's almost like you're here.

**********

So your daughter's a hooker,

and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,

it's really good pay

**********

603 - CIC

Do you remember the Consumer Information Catalog? It's been printed by the GSA Federal Citizen Information Center for ever. It used to be promoted on TV all the time. Remember the commercials about ordering from Pueblo Colorado? But when the internet came along it sort of faded away. Or so I thought. I was at the credit union today and there was a stack of them so I picked one up. They obviously have a website now.



You can still order pamphlets for free but most of the information is online. At least everything I checked out was there.

602 - No I don't!

I didn't get around to the computer until late today. A few posts back I said if I was missing it would be because my computer crashed. Well when I got up this mor... afternoon, there was a noise coming out of the room where my computer resides. I thought I better turn the thing off before something comes flying out of the case.

So later in the day I started unplugging drives one at a time. Luckily it was the secondary (old) hard drive that I have backed up on other drives. Now I get to take everything apart to get it out and then bash it to bits so some kid in a foreign country doesn't get my valuable information. Like .... well maybe there's nothing of value on that drive but you never know.

So that's why I'm not going to post toda.... HEY! It's a POST! How'd that happen?!

And then all I can say is God bless spell checkers. You know the old rule i before e except after c? Like in foreign? And a whole bunch of other damn wieords?

601 - The Rockettes

Yes the Rockettes. They are out all over the country doing their Christmas show. My wife, daughter, sister and friends have tickets. So I wondered, if they are all over the country, how many of them are there? I went to their website. From there I found the link that shows ALL the girls. To save you the time of adding all the numbers up, here's the total count - 182. I'm sure this number varies over time but right now there's 182 of them. That's a bunch. No wonder they can be in lots of places at once.

I was checking out 'Radio city' tickets and seating when I found this -

•Obstructed View Tickets
Tickets marked "Obstructed View" indicate your view of the event may be less then the norm. Please understand that it is possible that you may have a completely blocked view of the stage.

That's right, you can pay $70 for a ticket and not be able to see the stage. I'll just let you think about this for awhile. When you figure it out, let me know why somebody would buy one of these tickets.

I couldn't find any mention of St. Louis on the Rockettes site but they do have a St. Louis connection. They actually started in St. Louis. I've met one of the original "Missouri Rockets".

600 - Professional political humor

I refound this site the other night in my favorites. It has all the political jokes from all the late night comedians. The site is called political humor. The link takes you to the late night section.

Happy USA veterans day.

3 more years to go for 11/11/11.

66 more posts to go for AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

599 - Heartless friends

Referring back to post 596, Bandit is concerned that everyone will think that Frank has a bunch of heartless friends. No they won't I think to myself. They know we're just kidding. Even though things did happen pretty much as I explained in that post. To Bandits defense, he wasn't there that day. But knowing Bandit ......

Anyway, we've all been up to visit Frank in the hospital. And Bandit and his wife took Frank a special post-heart attack bouquet. He wants me to post the picture to show we care. I think it's kind of ...... Well here's the the picture.



And if I go missing for a few days there could be several reasons.
1. God has struck down all of Frank's friends.
2. I decided to surprise Bilbo with an unannounced appearance and share his vacation.
3. My computer finally crashed all the way (again) and I couldn't revive it one more time. (I have lots of new adjectives for computers.)

598 - Guantanamo Bay

We were having a discussion the other night about Guantanamo Bay. Did the US have a 99 year lease or what? Well it turns out that it has a perpetual lease. That is according to the US. Cuba says the US broke the lease and wants the US out. But if you haven't looked up any information on Guantanamo Bay, I've done it for you. You can thank me later. Here's more than you ever wanted to know.

Obvious first stop Wikipedia. But wait. I was trying to find out about the lease. Is this what I wanted? Nope. Here's what I was looking for. This last one talks about the lease.

And then I wondered if there were any maps of where the camps are located. Here's one and another.

597 - Blogging wind down

The elections over.
Friend survived heart attack.
Bilbo's going on vacation.

What do we do now? How about come up with words that are spelled the same but mean different things. Like the following -

wind wind
live live
wee wee
dove dove
left left
lead lead

So after I started writing a few down, I thought, (I know that's dangerous), check the internet. That's where I found out these words are called homographs. So I wondered if wikipedia had any articles on homographs. DUH!

596 - It's a guy thing

Guys react differently to situations than girls. Take for instance Wednesday around 1:30. Four friends on the golf course. We're on the third hole. Frank says, "Man I'm feeling bad." Friends say in support, "Well you look like crap to. You going to tee off or not?" He say, "No I'm feeling pretty bad, I think I'm going to quit." Friends say in support, "WHAT!" He says, "No really I'm feeling bad, I think I may go to the hospital."

His three friends shift slightly out of the guy mode for a second. "You want us to take you?" He says, "NO NO NO! I'm not that bad. I can get there by myself!" Friends respond (shifting back into guy mode), "OK. But call us when you get there." He says, "ALRIGHT" and heads back to the club house. Friends actually delay golf game and show some concern by watching Frank drive the golf cart back to the club house. When he makes to his car friends say, "He's alright, whose turn is it?"

Ten minutes later Frank interrupts friends golf game with call to announce he has made it to the hospital. Later we find out that Frank (being a guy) waits an hour and a half to call wife. (It's a guy thing)

Later that night Frank's wife calls friends. Frank has had a heart attack. He will be staying in the hospital for the night and having more tests tomorrow. Friends go "whoops".

Next day Franks wife calls around 9:00. Frank had another more severe heart attack last night and is headed for surgery at 11:00am. Friends pack up and head to hospital to support wife and family. F&F (friends and family) gather in waiting room. F&F get updates. He is doing OK and his triple bypass is going fine. F&F joke how stubborn Frank can be and how he shouldn't have driven himself to the hospital. Friends agree that it was Franks fault for that decision.

F&F find out that Frank is coming out of surgery and will be in room xxx. F&F family find out that Frank actually died on the operating table and if he hadn't been laying on the operating table at the time that his third and super huge heart attack happened he probably wouldn't be with us anymore. Friends reaffirm that this is all Franks fault. Friends then figure out that Frank will only be seeing family in the near term. Friends then decide to leave and go to lunch. We'll go back ....... Saturday and see how he's doing. (It's a guy thing)

595 - Crazy people and woodwork

Well you thought politics was over? HA! The crazies are going to be coming out of the woodwork to predict the collapse of the free world. But they have their weapons and they're ready to fight to the death to protect us from ..... whomever the bad guy is today. Never mind that the whole world was cheering the victory. We might run out of people to hate.

Take a look at one of Blogstalkers post comments.

And ohmygod, the market was down 500 points on the news of the election. Wait. Hasn't the market been bouncing all over the place for the last few months already? But gas is under $2.00 today. Just a fluke, when the truth about ... (whatever the truth is about today) ... comes out, it will obviously go back up. And it will be you know who's fault.

But the haters did get a victory in California. They convinced enough people that the LBGT community was enough of threat that they can't get married anymore. So I guess the LBGTs will have to go back to their old ways and start marrying straight people again so they can get what little benefits are left in the work world these days.

Other than that, try not to think about this and have a nice day.

594 - I knew it

I wasn't worried one bit. I knew this was going to go down like it did. So all I can say is ........

593 - Is it over yet?!

I'll ask again. Is it over yet?!!!

And what better topic to talk about today that something that smells fishy. What would that something be? Could be me, or you. Especially if you had a certain disease. Yes there is a disease that makes you smell fishy and it's got nothing to do with politics. It affects person's sweat, urine, and breath, giving off a strong fishy odor. So if something smells fishy, it might not be that politician standing near you. It might be somebody with an actual physical condition.

Link - Trimethylaminuria

And before somebody asks, "Where do you find this stuff?" All I can say is surfin'. I found this a couple of days ago while I was checking out ?????????

592 - 3 visits

Claudia found this article about 'church and state' and controversy at churches.


And if you don't get Consumer Reports they have a website and send out email updates. The latest email had a good intro line -
The scariest fright this Halloween is probably your real life. The economic crisis hurts everyone -- lost homes, lost jobs, lost retirement, lost faith.


Then my daughter sent me this link to a David Sedaris article in the New Yorker about undecided voters.

"I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?' she asks. 'Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?' To be undecided in this election is to pause for a moment and then ask how the chicken is cooked."


(OK 4)
And I found this quote in an Anne Quindlen article in Newsweek.

"Obama was unshakable, almost preternaturally so, considering that his opponent interrupted him repeatedly, smirked at his answers and grimaced so oddly that at times he seemed deranged."

591 - World interest

Here's a paragraph that I thought was interesting in an article in Newsweek about the election. You can see the whole article via the link.
--------------------------------------------

Outside of the United States, the election played large and transformational: a 21st-century man with whom the whole world can identify versus an old cold-warrior out of synch with the complex political and economic crises of our age. The election, it seemed, had morphed into a meta-election. If at home, especially as the election neared its end, Obama seemed to be playing down his blackness, his intellect, his eliteness and his progressive ideas, these were the qualities that more and more drew the rest of the world to him. The world loved the idea that a man named Barack Hussein Obama could become America's 44th president after a 200-year string of white guys named Washington and Jefferson, Clinton and Bush. Asia was trying to claim Obama for his Indonesian childhood, Africa for his Kenyan father, and the Middle East for his middle name, says Ahmed Benchemsi, who edits both of Morocco's leading newsweeklies, one in French, one in Arabic.

Link - Newsweek article

-----------------------------------------

And for those who have never been to Numeric Life's website, now you can go and see what we're harassing Amanda about.

Did you need to set back your clock? Did you? What about your computer clock?

Rima meme updated. Remember where the link was?

590 - Back to politics

This is not as short as it looks. Here's an article from the local paper from a few days ago. It's about republicans fed up with their party and why.

Link - Back to politics

And just in case you want hear about something else besides politics, I got a 1206 on spider solitare the other day.

And a question. Did anyone else lose the trashcan icons on the comments popup? Mine aren't there anymore. On my site or when I visit other sites and look at my old comments.